Mind Your Ps and Qs

Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the following:

”The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I’ve been doing my part.”

All the turmoil this week and no related posts on Peeque?

Anyway, never mind. I love a good call centre story, so here’s one I received earlier today. I have no idea if it’s true, so I’ve removed any reference to the name of the company involved or the location of the call centre.

A lady died this past January, and the bank in question billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to the bank. Here is the exchange.

Family Member : I am calling to tell you she died back in January.
Bank Employee : The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.
Family Member : Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.
Bank Employee : Since it is two months past due, it already has been.
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?
Bank Employee : Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!
Family Member : Do you think God will be mad at her?
Bank Employee : Excuse me?
Family Member : Did you just get what I was telling you – the part about her being dead?
Bank Employee : Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.

(Supervisor gets on the phone)

Family Member : I’m calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.
Bank Employee : The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.
Family Member : You mean you want to collect from her estate?
Bank Employee : (Stammer) Are you her lawyer?
Family Member : No, I’m her great nephew. (Lawyer info was given)
Bank Employee : Could you fax us a certificate of death?
Family Member : Sure. (Fax number was given )

(After they get the fax)

Bank Employee : Our system just isn’t setup for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.
Family Member : Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won’t care.
Bank Employee : Well, the late fees and charges do still apply. (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member : Would you like her new billing address?
Bank Employee : That might help…
Family Member : Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.
Bank Employee : Sir, that’s a cemetery!
Family Member : And what do you do with dead people on your planet???