Archive for the ‘Consultancy’ Category
Tech Support
Tuesday, August 25th, 2009Hats Off To ‘Em …
Thursday, January 22nd, 2009… if you’re going to run a scam, may as well “go large”!
http://www.channelregister.co.uk/2009/01/22/satyam_in_court/
Consultancy – A blank cheque in 13 easy steps
Monday, July 14th, 200813 easy steps – works a treat every time
1) Get yourself a job as a partner in a consulting firm
2) hobnob with anyone you know who is a senior executive
3) convince them they have seriously fallen behind the competition
4) start up a project to assess the gap
5) make the project scope as big as possible – no getting something in first or piloting an idea - make sure it considers all models for all countries and the scope is as wide and complex as possible
6) employ lots of clones. They should be recent graduates who have never worked on a project before (it’s a good training ground)
7) Make sure they are keen as mustard – use them to take minutes, and document everything on powerpoint – minimum presentation size is 50 slides. More is better.
under no circumstances take account of any practicalities before you’ve process mapped and analysed the world12) blame staff of the client company, substituting your own people to sort out the mess
9) instruct your people to work until midnight every night causing client employees to drop out
10) once the scope is truly enormous, it’s time to start a pilot
11) when the pilot goes t&ts up, (remember you may have banked 18 months worth of consulting fees by then), convince senior management that they have to have the stamina to see this through or else they fall even further behind
13) once you have reached the point of no return, begin again at 1) with the next idea